Be not afraid of the edge of things,
Of being pulled out beyond your depths; I Am the deep. You are free in Me. To be overwhelmed by My purposes Is just the beginning of knowing Me. Be not afraid of your weakness, Of being known in fragile places; I Am comfort. You are safe in Me. To be unstrung by My careful hands Is just the beginning of intimacy. Be not afraid of My sovereignty, Of being brought low by My love; I Am peace. You are whole in Me. To be beside Me in thorough humility Is just the beginning of joy. I see your fear of intimacy
And I raise you myself, Messiah. My mother and brothers thought me crazy, My closest friends did not wait up with me, So few of those who called me Lord stood And wept with me as I bled and suffocated, Paid their entrance fee to eternity, so few. Still I said, and meant it, "Father, forgive them, They know not what they do. I commit myself to you. It is finished." So I see your fear of intimacy And I lift up your weary heart, Hold it close to my own heart that beats, And I say, "Love bears all things And still remains strong." I don't want your love that breaks me,
It hurts, Lord, to feel so much. The book says love is kind, This doesn't feel like kindness. God-Man, I want to believe you are good, But sometimes I look around and look inside And all I see is darkness. Shadows. Ache. If you are so omnipotent, then why allow For so much pain? I am asking. It is said you answer when we Cry out to you, that you hear us and respond, So I'm crying out now with bitter tears, Meet me please, I beg of you, Or don't if it will only cause more pain, Lord, I don't even know how to pray To you these months, these days. You take off my heaviness You give me a garment of praise You meet my eyes with your constant gaze "Beloved," you say, "Beloved. Continue. Taken, blessed, broken, given, poured out, This is the portion of peacemakers, dreamers, Lovers of the King. Continue in what you have been called to, Which is to love." Why is tenderness so important to you,
God of justice, God of peace, Why gentleness, why humility? You could have come like thunder, Crashed in as the conquering king, Instead it is your patience that keeps me wondering. All kinds of fish, the weeds gathered up With the wheat - sifter, refiner, goats and sheep, It is mystery too great for me, yet still, Still my heart turns to seeking out why, Why you fulfilled the law and walked through The beatitudes when you didn't have to, did you? He tends the flocks like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. "I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open the eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols. See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you." New things. Creatio ex nihilo. The old wineskin can't hold this new wine, Is it best for last again, like at the wedding? The way you woo, the way you make ready Your bride by gifting the grace to abide in you, It comes back to patience again. You pour out your wisdom slowly, like honey, You season your rebuke with salt, it lasts, You present yourself as a spotless lamb, Firstborn, adorned with perfume by a woman Whom you honored for her faith, You waited four days to raise Lazarus. "Take off the grave clothes and let him go. The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these. A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another." You are so patient, that we may know your love. It hurts to thaw.
Sensation moving through the nerves Burns and makes one miss being numb. Tender hearts, They break and bleed and burn. You know this: You were spurned By the ones you broke and bled for. How, friend, do you keep your heart From freezing up towards us, towards me, How do you persist with this constant burning? By rejoicing. By looking ahead at the joy set before Me, By letting My heart beat beautifully for you, By interceding in the Holy of holies, By wooing you daily to Myself, By doing everything in love. I persist through love, And you are worth it to Me, Worth every bit of the burning. The demons have no doubts about you,
They cry out for mercy. Every time they see you They proclaim you are the Son of God. Me, I have followed you for years, Seen the lame walk, Seen thousands fed, Met Lazarus, heard you were dead. My God, why did you forsake me? I left my work, I left my family, You let them crucify you, you left me. My heart broke for days, teacher, It all felt like mist. You were gone. My soul felt your absence, it was bitter. You look like you, but brighter. It's your voice. It's your body. Still I wonder if you will leave me yet again. "Surely, I am with you always, All your appointed days, To the very end of the age, Receive the Holy Spirit and abide." |
AuthorI write to process. I write to explore. I write with the hope of sharing truth greater than my own. Archives
February 2022
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