Slingin' webs like spider-man
From that to this to whatever Just trying to keep it together But are these webs too tenuous, Is all this grasping disingenuous If I myself just want to be known? I hide my heart behind this mask Of "I'm fine, thanks," and "Yeah, I'm good," But I'm not as brave as I look Swinging around like this cracking jokes That are deflections and my reflections On these scattered windows show too clearly The refracted shape I'm in, webs spread thin And then comes the snap and I gasp And I'm squirming, falling, reeling With this onrush of feeling inadequate Lying here all hollowed out by self-doubt Unbreathing. But then hhhha! breath returns Like grace unseen and with this raw vibrancy My lungs rasp and shutter, breathing in And out again and in and I stutter out A laugh with myself and shake my head, "Oh kid, take a minute to rest, You aren't your best when you forget About just being here, a heart, dear- ly loved, and there are cracks to mend, sure, But don't borrow fear from tomorrow, Feel this sorrow and then move free Of the debris and go with purpose." Here I am digging for grit and gravel
When there's fresh, soft grass waving And a cool stream to drop my feet in And I am asked only to stay, To dwell here in this peace and carry Peace with me - just asked to remain, To remain in this joy and love that is steady, But I get petty and proud and all too self- Involved and distracted and it's silly, really, To act this way - like the dwarfs in the stable Thinking their fine meal was hay while the truth Is standing there before them inviting Them to come further up and further in, Run free and forever into this astounding light! Come sit in sanctuary, all you fearfully hurried people, Come sit in sanctuary, and be still. The world is trembling with horrors, with souls violent and mistaken; The world is trembling with honest joy. Come sit in sanctuary, breathe in your neighbors’ breath, and shed wanted tears. Come sit in sanctuary, from your neighbors ask forgiveness, and offer them the same. The world is trembling with emptiness, with troubling questions unresolved; The world is trembling with genuine love. Come sit in sanctuary, then return to the trembling world; Come sit in sanctuary, then return to give your peace. You tug on my heartstrings,
And your song is the sweetest, But I look back often and weep. For the things long-familiar and known, Though not the best have dwelt long on my throne And they are hard, so hard to surrender. There is newness in your breath. There is life because you took death. And you gave me the grace to surrender. You tug on my heartstrings, And your song is the sweetest, Always honest and loving and right. For the peace of your spirit is true. You quiet fears and create something new With your heartstrings open before me. There is newness in your breath. There is life because you took death. And you gave me the grace to surrender. Love help me, please help me surrender. I set myself up comfortably in this circle of mirrors
Endless iterations of myself respond - abounding, repeating I nod, I nod, I nod, I nod and when I speak My own echo comes back to affirm I have spoken I revolve to catch myself at a flattering angle I turn, I turn, I turn, I turn and when I look My own mirror-captured eyes look askance at me I do not know my own face though it is all I ever see I stare, I stare, I stare, I stare and when I blink Forget my own appearance and startle at this image-self Moving just beside, behind, beyond me quite as shocked as I am I quake, I quake, I quake, I quake and when I pause My silverized selves cease the same, so exactly I find my self-reverberations have no helpful consequence I am trapped as my own stranger in this counterfeit eternity Imago Dei
Free as our wills may be We cannot unhinge our paradoxes We are salt grains in a scratch recipe Pinched into the mix to accentuate the sweetness Crafted to be firm, faithful, and flexible To bend with the wind of the Spirit To root resolutely within the life-source Word We are much and little We are brave and brittle Loved so that we may love in return We are brave and brittle We are much and little To root resolutely within the life-source Word To bend with the wind of the Spirit Crafted to be firm, faithful, and flexible Pinched into the mix to accentuate the sweetness We are salt grains in a scratch recipe We cannot unhinge our paradoxes Free as our wills may be Imago Dei |
AuthorI write to process. I write to explore. I write with the hope of sharing truth greater than my own. Archives
February 2022
Categories |